Friday, February 29, 2008


None for today.

This is how I figure it - This day really doesn't exist. Every 4 years, February 29 shows up on our calendars, and we just accept the addition of one day to our year. No questions asked. From a science standpoint, I understand all the hype about the rotation of the Earth taking approximately 24 hours, and how every 4 years we have to 'reset' our calendar or chaos will result. That chaos being: If we don't reset our calendars every 4 years, we will be off by one day every 4 years. In 100 years, we'll be off by approximately 25 days. In 200 years, we'll be off by approximately 50 days. In 300 years, we might have snow in July. OK - I get it.

However, I choose to believe the day does not actually exist. We pluck it out of the ether, add it to a calendar, and act like nothing unusual happened. I think, since this is one day that only comes around once every 4 years, I can take the stance that anything happening today won't really matter in the light of eternity. Or at least not until this day in 2012.

That said - I already have several incidents I can forget about, because they didn't really happen, because they happened today.
  1. After homeroom, while on hall duty, I notice a group of students (who all happen to be in my 6th hour class), clumped around 2 other students (also mine), who are engaged in a shouting match. By the time I get down there, curses and threats are flying. The head ptb happens by, and gets between the 2 combatants. The other students are having a grand old time, encouraging the fight. I herd them in to their class (not mine - and the teacher is not yet there, even though the bell has rung) and try to get them settled. Finally, the teacher shows up, thanks me for 'covering', and asks what he missed. ???? This sets off the group again, as they try to re-create the fight for him. Lovely, this whole group will be coming to me in about 5 hours. (minus the two fighters - they're on lockdown for the rest of the day)
  2. Tried to take my 2nd hour class to the computer lab to take a test online. My plan was for them to take this test, then I had several review activities (also online) for them to work on/have a little fun with - end the week on a positive note. Yeah. Immediately, 2 of my lovelies decided to go to other websites and/or stick a flash music drive in the computer. I ended up taking the class back to my room to take the test on paper because they were too disruptive and were disturbing the other class in the lab. Grrr...
  3. Poor ol' Marjorie...She was the other teacher in the computer lab 2nd hour, working with her Computer Math class. While I was in there, Marjorie spotted one of her students with earphones on - connected to a hidden Ipod. Marjorie bent down and told the student to put the earphones away, that she knew the rules of the class, and to get back to work. Evidently, as soon as class was over, the student put out a distress call. During 3rd period, an irate parent barged in to Marjorie's classroom (yep, in the middle of a class), ready to whup up on her because Marjorie "embarrassed" her daughter in front of her friends. Luckily, another teacher happened to be in the classroom, and the head ptb was walking by. According to Marjorie, the woman had to be bodily removed from the room.

Water under the bridge, spilt milk, leap day. No use worrying about it....

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Are you freakin' kidding me???

It's mid-term time. Progress reports went out yesterday. Any student with a 'D' or 'F' in a class at this point in the term has his/her name put on a list, and that list is turned in to the guidance office. What they do with the lists....I have no clue. At any rate, lists are now due to guidance.

This morning, I'm hanging out in the hall (presumably 'on duty') talking with another Earth Science teacher. This is Leah's first year here, but she's really on the ball. Much more organized then I am. She tells me she was stopped by the head ptb on the way to guidance yesterday - taking her list. He looks at her list, and is astonished and perturbed by the number of names on said list. He says to her (and she swears this is not a joke, nor was he sarcastic), 'You know there's an SOL in this course, right?' Her first impulse? Yeah, this is why I like her - 'Really? The hell you say! Why didn't someone tell me this sooner???' She doesn't say this, but does give him a look that evidently leads him to believe she didn't understand his comment. So he says, 'I mean - are they going to pass?' He grabs the list again, and asks. 'How many of these are Earth Science students?' ('cause she also teaches a non-SOL science course) She does ask - 'Does it matter?' PTB looks at her like she's lost her mind, and careens off - looking for his next victim.

(picture me - digging through piles of manure....)

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Lost Pony

Animal Planet aired a program last night that included a segment about a lost pony, reunited with his owners. Eh? See a trend here? Maybe it's just me...

Monday, February 25, 2008


Tommy told a story yesterday in church, about the pessimistic boy and the optimistic boy. Scientists placed the pessimistic boy in a room filled with every toy imaginable, and the optimistic boy in a room filled with a huge pile of horse manure. An hour later they checked on the boy in the room full of toys. He was in the corner, sucking his thumb. When asked what was wrong, he said, "There are too many toys. I might get hurt, or I might break them if I play with them!" The scientists checked on the other boy, and found him, the walls and the entire room covered in horse manure. They asked him what he was doing, and he replied, "With all this, there HAS to be a pony somewhere!"

I decided to make that my motto this week -at least. With all the sh&% that goes on day-to-day at school, there has to be a pony somewhere. I'm lookin' for the pony!

So - with that in mind (I also told Suzanne about my equine quest), here comes Dr. M, one of the ptb, who starts talking about the Donkey Basketball game scheduled for Friday night. Donkeys? Are they like ponies? Have I completed my quest already? But -- it's only 8:30 on Monday morning!!

He says they're looking for people to ride the donkeys. He also informed us that donkeys really don't like to be ridden. I'm going to avoid him for the rest of the week.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Pull my gleaner???

Kids these days. The things they will say to try to get a rise out of a teacher....

Marjorie is a new teacher on our hall this year. She teaches math. She tries really hard to be a 'cool' teacher - one that students like and will respect. Problem is, she lets them get away with too much, and it's starting to get out of hand. Case in point:

During lunch today, Marjorie tells us about a student in one of her classes coming up to her and (according to Marjorie) telling her to pull his 'gleaner.' Marjorie hears 'weiner', gets offended, and writes a referral. The assistant principal (who has a reputation of being a little soft on discipline) comes up to her this morning, telling Marjorie that the student insists he said 'gleaner', and that a gleaner is the skin on your elbow. We (our lunch bunch), being the life-long learners we are, look up 'gleaner + elbow' on Google. Nothing. The rest of lunch is taken up with hilarious gleaner jokes. We enjoy our wit very much. Marjorie is not so amused.

When the bell rings, Suzanne and I are on hall patrol when we overhear a group of Marjorie's students talking about what happened. We hear the word 'weiner' several times, and ask the students to stop talking about the incident. One of the boys (who happens to be in my Resource class) says, 'No, Mrs. Lowe! She got upset over the word 'wenus' - and that's what you call the skin on your elbow.' I shoo them all to class, and Google 'wenus.' Sure enough, it's a word, and it means the skin on your elbow.

Next time I see Marjorie, I tell her about 'wenus'. She feels a little stupid, but gleans (get it?) satisfaction in the knowledge that what she heard was still rather inappropriate.

I mean - come on - indiscriminate pulling of the skin on a students' elbow could lead to all sorts of chaos!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

5-finger discount

Took the dog in for a nail trim yesterday afternoon. As the vet tech takes Dusty off for his pedicure, I ask, (not really in jest) "Do I get a discount?" The receptionist looks puzzled as she says, "No, why?" I point out the dog only has three legs, therefore less claws to clip. The vet tech taking Dusty out laughs, and says "I have a 3-legged cat."

Dusty looks offended, being compared to a cat and all. They charge me full price.

So - what do think of this? Dusty is saving up for the surgery...

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

What language do you bark?

Dave uploaded some pictures the other day from his trip to Athens. I promised my students at the beginning of the school year that I would keep them updated on his travels, and share the pictures and stories (that were G-rated) of his year in Germany.
Today, I show this picture of downtown Athens. I really like the composition of the picture, with the sleeping dog in the foreground. Very cool. One of my seniors asks the question, "When a dog in Greece barks, does he bark in Greek?" Good question!? That leads to a lively discussion of how dogs in different countries might bark. The winner is the student who proceeds to bark in Spanish, rolling his 'r's as he barks "Roof, roof". Priceless.
On another note: The other day, Suzanne's son (a freshman) comes up to her in the hall. He asks, "Mom, do want some bread?" and pulls a baguette out of his coat pocket, breaks off a hunk, and hands it to her. I ask if he's going to pull a fish out of the other pocket as he walks away. A few seconds later, he comes back and says, "That was pretty funny!"
I guess you had to be there...

Friday, February 01, 2008

No bitch zone

I realize I've been spending most of my time in this blog kvetching about all that is wrong in my world. Sorry bout that.

Today was a much better Friday. A scheduled 1/2 day for parent conferences, so I automatically get to sleep in. Bonus: overnight, we have freezing rain, so the work day schedule is pushed back an hour. I don't have to go in until 10:00. Time to get a decent breakfast and sit around in my robe. The workday ends at 1:00, and I spend the afternoon dozing, reading, watching a little Springer (a guilty pleasure, sometimes), and watching it rain on the deck.

Tonight - a bball game against NC State. Nice game, another win for the girls. Maybe tomorrow, they'll be nationally ranked. Sweet.

So, maybe not as entertaining as a grumpy entry, but everyone needs a few flowers and puppies in their lives, right? (or in this case, freezing rain and basketball)